How Do I Know What to Keep When Decluttering?
Clarity comes when asking all the right questions
“I just don’t know if I should keep it.” That’s a common response when decluttering.
It’s a hard place to be mentally, feeling torn between regretting your decision and feeling guilty for holding on when your home is cluttered. This indecision creates so much anxiety and discomfort that many people put the item back, just to stop agonizing.
As parents, one of the most important skills we can teach our children is how to make decisions they feel clear and confident about. And the only way to truly stand by our choices is to look deeper, until the reasons click in our minds and our bodies feel a sense of relief.
Rather than staying in limbo, you can take steps toward a decision by asking questions:
How did the item come into your possession?
What was your first reaction to using it?
What purpose has it served for you?
Has it already met your needs?
Was the experience enjoyable? Why or why not?
If it didn’t meet your expectations, why haven’t you let it go yet?
What would need to be different for it to meet your expectations?
If you gave it another chance, did it feel forced, or were you glad you kept it?
If you were to let it go, would you buy it again?
These questions can reveal if there is truly a place for the item in your home. If it helps, write your answers down or say them out loud instead of letting them pile up in your mind like clutter. As you practice this process to get to the root of your attachment, you’ll become quicker and more confident.
Share this thought process with your family to model how to reach a clear decision. This way, when they have a hard time decluttering, they’ll know that by asking the right questions, they won’t have to feel flustered or fearful of the unknown.
*Author Ann Dooley is the creator of The Dooley Method, a framework for combining home organization with connection-based parenting. For ongoing guidance, support, and inspiration, join her community at Dooley Noted.